Friendship, defined!!

Living amidst the world of friends is a blessing. Who is without a friend? No one. Any living entity is born with this boon. While friendship blooms of choice, any relationship by birth or marriage is of destiny. But be it, you mother, father, sister, brother, spouse, daughter, son, all these in 'in-law' form, all become beautiful when tempered with friendship.

Friends start being integral part of you right from childhood. They are your companions, comforts and boosters. Only when you enjoy someone's company you form a friendship. I have seen small kids as small as 1 year olds, wait to meet friends and spend time with them. The longer they spend time peacefully together, deeper will their friendship grow.

Time and again we can see some boys wanting to play with the same friend more often which means they get along very well. The mother might choose a friend and wish him to be a good friend with him, but can't understand why he is attracted only by the other child that he chose.

Understanding is the key to lasting friendship.

Understanding could be any of these:

• your moods
• your wishes
• your likes
• your dislikes
• your mentality
• your weaknesses
• your strength

Even if one of the above is identified by a person, you start establishing a friendship. Your familiarity starts there. Slowly they get to know more of you, they start wishing you good. Good will follows understanding. Though even with out understanding good will could be there, good will with understanding is the best possible situation. The beautiful part of this is each step of understanding is reciprocal. Mutual understanding, bonds the friendship stronger.

Not necessary you talk every now and then, exchange what you ate and what you drank, when you sleep and when you wake up. Its always nice to catch up any time, as if we have been in touch. That is the wonder of true friendship. You know a person thoroughly, whenever you talk to, you feel friendly. The communication gap never makes a person a stranger. Rather love bridges the gap. They know your reactions and responses to life and you know theirs. There is predictability, reliability and confidence to a large extent. 

If you feel a friendship is maintained only by giving them time everyday by chatting, you are partial in your understanding.

If you feel calling up a friend with a purpose is wrong or mistaken, you are throughly mistaken the sense of friendship.

Chatting everyday doesn't always enhance love, it more often sores the relationship, the warmth that smoothens friendship gets hotter or colder and loses flavor. Lets not have that as a condition for friendship. Mind it, anything conditional isn't called love. Break a myth.

Secondly, calling for a purpose is more often scorned as being selfish, which is absolutely not so. Be modest enough to think that you are remembered when there is a need and be thankful for the remembrance. If you are happy for being helpful and useful for someone, when someone else is remembering you in their need you won't be unhappy about it. So when you feel like calling your good friend for a purpose, need not hesitate. Go ahead and call. When love and good will alone coats your wire, there will be no shock.

Some people feel it is tough to maintain friendship. Its a myth, I tell you. Apart from chatting and talking at times, the silent transfer of love means a lot. You remember many of your friends at various points of your life, sometimes you remember them everyday. Your remembrance itself is a friendship maintenance expert. The more frequent you remember them taller and thicker does the friendship grow. Try this, this is what helps me maintain my love for my friends. I don't mean to say  be in your own dream world. When your thoughts take you to your loved ones, go and touch them, for a moment also is ok. Some events, objects take your memory back to certain old friends, enjoy that moment. (Facebook helps friendship world over.)

When you have this mindful friendship, when you get to see them, talk to them you can relate very well. Watch out, when you meet a good friend, don't let your mind wander with other incidents or ponder with your own problems, get to them. Being in your own world, will invariably express you so.

Present yourself to them. Talk only of them and yourself and the topic relevant to both of you, not even relevant, interest or passion for both of you. Go to the core subject and discuss. Listen to what they have got to say, once they are done and keen to listen to what you have got to say, then start your stuff. Always don't be the talker, you may sound boring to them. Pay heed to their expressions. As much as you need to pour your feelings, they have got to say theirs. Listening defines a best friend, quite often. As friendship is mutual respect, the more they talk, the more will they let you talk.

Enjoy great friendship.