Tuesday, 13 February 2018

What does appreciation do to us?

We are being appreciated for our work from many people and a small introspection on whether we work only for this appreciation, whether our desire to be appreciated is the motive for our good work, whether we are addictive to those words of praise - all this brought some clarity to my thought.

One is we don't work for appreciation, we are concerned only with the best output. If we start imagining what praise the work is going to bring while still producing the work, it would definitely not bring the best output.

We work for our complete satisfaction. Any kind of art is an expression of our soul, the inner self that's ever evolving, hence when we express ourselves, we don't muddle our mind with future happenings (feedback ). We focus on the work. The concentration on our work is no less than meditation. It's because of this dedication that the work comes out wonderfully.

So doesn't the appreciation that our art gets do anything to us? Are we detached to the praise? Are we so elevated, that appreciation of others doesn't put us on a proud pedestal? Don't we think high of ourselves? Is hearing applause addictive? Let me address these questions now.

Appreciation does something to us. It boosts our morale. It soothes our heart and the aching joints that did the work. It helps in forgetting the pain you would experience on completion of a difficult piece of art, spending hours together. It gives you courage to venture again. You become your own connoisseur. You look at your own work from an outsider's perspective and enjoy the nuances.

But if we linger more on the beauty of our past work, how do we gear up for future? So once done, though it seems to be new for more and more first time viewers, for us it is something of the past. It won't help us work in the future. We should start seeing ahead. What more? What new? What else? What's for tomorrow? Like that. So we naturally be a little detached.

Appreciation doesn't (shouldn't) make us proud. If it does, it will start being visible in the future outputs. Only a pure heart which is devoid of pride and arrogance can create great works of art. So if you are able to create more and more work, it means you are emptying your mind of any baggage every now and then. Every new attempt is a meditation for you. If you think high of yourself you are not in the ground, if you are not in the ground, how do you create another new production? Like machinery when a day's production is done it has to be cleared of the space giving way to new production. Any baggage here and there would hinder the next day's production.

All said and done, are we addicted to this pleasure of being appreciated? It's too harsh to call it addictive. It's an exchange of positive thought. It takes a large heart to appreciate and by being praised you are interacting with a number of large hearted people everyday. You tend to reciprocate the same feeling and it's not wrong to get addicted to that good thing.


Thursday, 16 February 2017

Husband at a Distance!

Half the time I feel hungry
Because I don't cook properly
Motivation lacking, being lonely
Do I really miss him ?

I don't choose to move out
Halt to all my friendly hangout
As a loner I walk about
Does this look like I miss him?

Never am I time bound
I enjoy the freedom new found
Yet wait for the day he'll be around
Is it that I do miss him?

Muse on the talks agreed and disagreed
The words of praise and pride
Along with some taunts that slide
Does it mean I miss him?

When the day he comes I prepare
His laundry upkeep that was haywire
The cuisine that he misses else where
Am I really missing him so much?

Thank God, we are just weeks apart
Not like some, miles and years apart
A revelation does come from this thought
Yes, I do miss him very much.


Wednesday, 15 February 2017

Should I cry or laugh?

Sindhu called from college. " Amma I am not quite well. Am heading home. Am in Dadar station. Will be home"
"Ok. Come, I would get your lunch ready" said I.
Plans rolled up in me about what to make. Together came this question whether I should have asked her to take a cab and travel safe. Anyway she has already taken the train.
Was in the midst of chanting, hence finished the round and went up to cook.
Dialled her number to check where she has reached and how she felt. She didn't pick up. Called again. Didn't pick up. Called again. Not taking. Now started feeling little worried, why she should not be picking up phone. Made some 10 futile attempts and went to whatsapp to see whether she is online. Texted her, yet no reply.
Kept calling non stop now. Called up hubby to say this is what it is. He said, (What would he say but to keep trying) "when she picks up call or reaches home inform me."

Sent a lot of prayers though praying for asking something was against my principle. Was getting worried.
But I can't get frantic. Balance is the rule of the mind. Should apply that right? SO thought if at all she gets too sick to walk or something (worst scenario) some soul would definitely help her and help me too, by connecting her to me. Where has my faith gone? Reaffirmed that Krishna my pet Lord wouldn't let anything wrong happen to my daughter if I believe He is my Protector.

Such varied emotions whirled inside me, but sure it did silence me, with whom would I anyway share this. I would only share the worry and leave them permanently worried about Sindhu.

Lot of things and with this worry, the green leafy vegetable got cleaned and cut nicely and was getting cooked along with other dishes for lunch, when this girl calls me from the door... Amma..

Relieved yet exasperated emotionally.

My greeting tone made her sense something sore. She took out her phone and saw 30 odd missed calls from me. She smiled and said," Amma after the recent mobile lost incident, I don't walk or travel with mobile in  hand, I put it inside the bag"

I didn't know whether to chide or acclaim her. To be a mom, is like solving a Chinese puzzle.


Monday, 23 January 2017

How a soul bid farewell!

The faithful heart beat for my father
When lungs couldn't breathe any further
Doctors struggled their best to hold on
But the soul was prepared to move on

The hardships of the body machine
He tried enough to combat and clean
But who knows it was the final fight
That day he gave up the long wait

"Either get me well or take me back,
I can't take so much physical attack"
He implored The Divine Mother
Whose service alone did he bother

All the clairvoyance he wanted
Let him down and that taunted
Then did he get the ultimate call.
If the body cannot work for the soul

If the body is not fit to complete
The soul's task in this planet
It will leave that weak body
And choose another to embody

This was his message at last
No desire to catch this body fast
There was this preparedness, in sight
That set him forth to his final flight

Whom he is leaving behind,
He forgot to calculate and find
Who might miss his love and care
Not even for them he took in air

Abundant joy he bore
His heart open to the core
Feeling so strong and secure
That people around will cure

Heaviness of breath he showed
Led the doctor shake and dread
He said " ITS UNEASY" of his discomfort
I didn't know he told only to depart

I didn't know it was his last word
Little restlessness, not very hard
He went to silence to fight the last bit
He was not in pain, at his last minute

His heart fought like a loyal soldier
With all the support from exterior
But, the divine peace that he smelt
At the Heaven's threshold he settled

The disdainful pain is no more
No more will the strange eyes stare
Soul constricted in the fragile body
Is now free to reach its next destiny!


Sunday, 25 September 2016

கோலம் நினைவூட்டிய பாசுரம்

இன் அடிசிலொடு பால் அமுது ஊட்டி,
எடுத்த என் கோலக் கிளியை
உன்னொடு தோழமைக் கொள்ளுவன் குயிலே!
உலகளந்தான் வரக் கூவாய்.